Last night I went to a party as an egg. It was a guy called Jamie's party for his birthday, and the golden rule of the evening was to dress yourself up as something beginning with a letter of his name, naturally, I picked E for Egg. Whilst I was there (and whilst making the damn thing), I learnt some very important lessons about what it's like being dressed up as an egg.
1) Producing your egg costume may be one of the most trying experiences of your life. By the end of it hot glue, super glue and staples will surround you and end up in every last inch of your life (and bedroom).
2) Someone will shout 'EGGY EGGY EGGY' at you, and expect you to respond with 'OI OI OI'. Additionally, this could happen as soon as you get out of your car.
3) Half way through the evening you will effectively be forced to take off your cardboard panels, as you suspect that everyone around you is becoming increasingly irritated with the corrugated structure cutting up their arms.
4) Sitting down in your egg costume multiple times will result in you having a sore chin from the card smacking and rubbing against your jaw.
5) If you choose to wear a mini-egg headpiece, avoid all low ceilings. If you do reach a low ceiling, expect it to get caught and for you to feel a kind of half-cop whiplash.
6) You can still chip your tooth on a bottle of cider even if you're dressed as an egg. It does not make you immune to accidents despite the seemingly fantastic new extra barrier you have acquired.
7) When you dance, you can make yourself look like an egg timer if you swing your rear-end from side to side without moving your feet.
8) Other people will want to join your egg club, and make request to try on your giant fried and wholesome costume.
9) Eggspect lots of egg related puns such as 'that's costume's no yoke' and 'that costume is eggcellent'.
10) Don't expect many people to understand your sense of humour.